It is now 2012, at least where I live. Usually I do these kind of journal entries on the last day of the year, but this year I was working during the day and then went out at night and saw Tintin (spoiler: it was amazing). So I'm going to do my reflecting right now to get it out of the way.
I can pretty much divide 2011 into two parts based on what happened.
The first half of 2011 was a downward spiral for me, due entirely to a major crush on a friend of mine. I succeeded in making myself thoroughly miserable by trying to fit into his closer circle of friends when it was apparent that I was an unwelcome presence there. There was also the fact that I managed to blind myself to how my attempts at being friendly had degenerated into something thoroughly creepy. This all came to a head in May, when he finally confronted me about it after trying to ignore my existence (which only made me more annoying). So we broke off contact, which really helped in getting over him. We're still friends, but we don't see each other very often.
Even though that nasty business was over, I couldn't keep him out of my head because I was so ashamed of what I had done that I kept rehearsing apologies in my mind. Thankfully, this is where the second part of 2011 begins. While the nasty crush business had been going on, I'd been making good friends within two of the uni societies I was part of, namely the roleplaying society (MURPS) and the Museum Appreciation Society (MAS), because there was a fair amount of crossing over with their members. MAS planned a trip to Melbourne in July, and I went along with them. During the trip I made some of the best friends I've ever had. Even though they were fairly close with each other already, they didn't try to keep me out like the others had done. It was with these people that I spent the second half of the year hanging out with more, and this really helped me recover from how I was earlier in the year.
Aside from emotional turmoil, this year I attended a heap of conventions (and helped to organise and run one of them), visited Melbourne, Broome, and central Queensland, helped to prepare an actual dinosaur fossil, finally got to do Palaeontology at university level (getting a distinction for the unit overall), went out and saw live music (and went out more in general), acquired a new computer, failed a heap of driving tests, and FINALLY got a proper paying job.
In 2012, I will be 20. Since I won't be a teenager any more, I'm going to have to start being more of an adult. Therefore my resolutions for 2012 are:
* Get on top of financial stuff pronto-don't leave it around because then it can turn out badly. I also want to be more responsible with money, now that I have better prospects for obtaining a proper paying job with paydays.
* Stop being so damn shy, because people will not bite my head off just because I need to ask them about something.
* Stop being lazy, not that this is currently a big problem but you should work on it.
* I want to stop hating myself and grow a pair. Yes, I fuck up some things, but I'm not as big a failure as I think I am. I'm not as dumb and immature as I think I am, either.
Of course if the Mayan apocalypse does happen then this will all be kind of moot as I won't be an adult for very long owing to being DEAD. Still, I will work on improving myself throughout 2012.